Drinking on Thursday nights always seems like a lovely idea. A couple of glasses of wine, a bite to eat and an early night. This is always the intention. The last few Thursdays have turned into vodka fuelled dance offs or ‘oh just one more bottle of wine…’

This has resulted in the last few Fridays being spent embarassingly confused, unable to stand straight and feeling very ashamed of myself. The thing is, I do actually know better. I am never surprised by the hangover, in fact, it’s more of a surprise if I ever manage to escape them (which is rare and often celebrated with a glass of wine to raise a toast to my resilient liver!) So after a relatively healthy weekend, free from booze bingeing and bars (I had a couple of glasses of wine over the whole weekend, and they were red so just topping up the anti-oxidants) and with a beach holiday booked and in the diary, I have decided to commence The Regime.

This is basically giving a name to what I’m already supposed to be doing, which has sadly fallen by the wayside. The Regime has to be enforced to ensure a bikini worthy body by June 25th. It consists of healthy eating, no alcohol Monday-Friday and regular exercise. I have covered my iPhone with ‘thinspirational’ photos of girls in bikinis. I was even tempted to do my own ‘before’ and ‘after’ shots, but I just can’t bring myself to strip down to my underwear in front of the self-timer. Although that might be necessary if, by the end of the week I’ve failed to hit my minimum of 3 gym sessions and I need to install some desperate measures for motivational purposes. (Don’t worry. No images will appear on here).

So I have 12 weeks to transform my physique, health and well-being. (I added ‘health’ and ‘well-being’ as an after thought so it doesn’t seem like this is purely driven by vanity… it is.) I have to point out that The Regime also has to directly benefit, and cannot at any point hinder, my work, study and social life. I don’t want to become an unemployed recluse in my quest for visible abs. Instead I’m aiming for a healthy balance.

If I could employ an ex-army trainer for this I would. Someone to shout at me at 6am would do the trick. Instead I’m relying solely on my own ability to shout at myself. Sadly, I didn’t listen to me this morning and didn’t quite make the 7am spin class. But I did have a healthy breakfast and will have a few words with ‘Military Jo’ later to make sure she doesn’t fail tomorrow morning.