Despite the fact that I’m going out this evening and by ‘going out’ I probably mean ‘getting drunk’ I have been very strict with my new found love for the Clean and Lean Diet. It’s basically a load of healthy principles that everyone already knows, but buying the book and following the meal planner is a good motivator, particularly now that I am officially back on The Regime! There are some really good recipes in there too, that have a bit more imagination than chicken and broccoli.

The original Regime started with the best intentions but enough got in the way for me to satisfy myself that they were convincing enough reasons as to break it, drink 2 bottles of rioja, a bottle of prosecco and however many shots the barman handed to us (for free so it would have been rude not to accept). This was last saturday to celebrate the engagement one of my besty’s (it’s a word and there were 2 of us so I wasn’t alone). In one fail swoop, an evening in a tapas restaurant managed to fully overthrow all my intentions. It was a good laugh though, I have to admit, even if we don’t remember getting home.  The night ended in me talking a load of rubbish to my Mum and Dad whilst stumbling around their kitchen then trying to google something that ‘they really had to see!’ Only I couldn’t spell, or type, or really see the keyboard…so then they sent me to bed.

I had reverted back 12 years and found myself in my parents kitchen (they live in Scotland and I was staying with them for a few days) pretending not to be as drunk as I was.  Only difference now is that instead of grounding me or giving me a telling off, they spent the next morning smugly laughing in a way only two newly non-drinking T-totalers could.

Guilt-ridden, I’ve hauled myself to the gym this week and am determined to keep it up with a notion that one day in the future (most likely pretty far in the future) I will stop drinking all together. I’ll grow my own vegetables, look 10 years younger than I am and do yoga every morning.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t drink very often. Once a week, maybe twice, but I do have the tendency to get carried away. Admiring those that can ban alcohol from their lives entirely, I’m not sure I’m ready for that yet.  I’ve done it many times. Detox, health kicks etc.  A month here, 6 weeks there, but forever?

One thing I’ve come to accept about myself is that I’m full of, and have an almost limitless list, of excuses.  I believe in them strongly enough to justify almost anything.  For example: I’m not feeling too well, probably best I don’t go to the gym and make myself ill, I’ll just go tomorrow. Translates to: I can’t be bothered. Another: I deserve a break, I’ve been working so hard. Translates to: I can’t be bothered.

Just a few days in on Clean and Lean and I can be bothered.  It’s amazing how much a book with pictures of healthy looking salads and people in bikinis can motivate you to be at body pump by 7am. Coupled with the fact that the Daily Mail has been showering me with images of Kelly Brook and numerous Victoria’s secret models, I’m determined not to end up on Supersize vs Superskinny, as I know which end of the spectrum I’ve got the potential to end up!

So in my quest for ‘balance’ I’ve been looking for the cleanest and leanest alcoholic beverage that I can enjoy (in moderation, of course) as to prevent any major relapses and before I turn into one giant ball of cellulite. A little google search took me to a website where I discovered that the drinks that are the best for you are the ones which have the least ‘hangover causing congeners’ and the fewest calories.  In theory, I should be able to wake up having taken my make up off, without a bucket next to my bed and stomach a healthy breakfast instead of crawling to the nearest McDonalds Drive Thru.

Now that I’ve made it public, I don’t have any excuse. Tomorrow I will go to the gym. I will stick to the diet and I will also do some work.

Although if I wake up tomorrow morning with panda eyes and a cold box of chicken nuggets next to the bed… I know I’ll be able to, somehow, justify it.

Wish me luck!